Amazing how my baby, by now maybe only about the size of a bean, can make my blood volume increase dramatically, create lot of extra fluid ending up in my bladder and make me palpitate occasionally with a burning sensation that often extends from the bottom of  my breastbone to the lower throat. The nausea should fade soon or I'll never see the light of the outside world again. Frequent nausea and vomiting can certainly cost you energy.

I took the name of the man I have been evoking since I was 6 years old today. When we tranced around till the moon got full like a plate, I knew I had to give myself in to that misty light. The moment eternal life is right in front of you, you can't sit and hide.  You just have to give in to that absolute reality. He is just how I imagined him to be, down to every bit of all the songs I've ever sang in reverie. Finishing each other's thoughts before it is even spoken and knowing that the intensity of our commonality can only happen once, He is the man I will be with for the rest of my sunshines and sunsets.  This is my ever after. 

You miss the beauty of life when you are focused down on the hard, cold earth or  living high-on-the-hog never really knowing what value to possess.

After this experience, you will come to terms with your critical streak, because life is what you make of it. This is what i've learned, at 25.

Now I look at the big picture and try not to spot flaws in the details too much (not as much as i used to.) I try to react not only with my mind and intellect, but also with my heart taking away pride and ego. I put a premium on politeness and harmony now but try not to suffer in silence in certain situations. This is the opposite of who i was before. I still am so directed outward, toward helping others but my take on realism is now in full blast.  As I aim to please -- up to a point, I do tend to be unconventional, and that, is something that will never change.

wish i grew up like dakota, oh well. life.

*** abbey

Hannah Dakota Fanning was born on February 23rd 1994, in Conyers, Georgia. Little did Dakota and her family know that in less than eight years, she would be a star of both television, movies and have dedicated fans.

As a young child, Dakota was very active and grown up for her age. She would often pretend to have a baby by putting a blanket under her shirt and then go through labor using her little sister Elle as the baby!

Soon after Dakota's many 'acts', her parents (Joy and Steve) were advised to take her to an agency. They thought she had an amazing talent and sent Dakota with her family to Los Angeles for six weeks.

During that time, Dakota got selected out of thousands to be in a Tide commercial, her first national television exposure. From this point her career took off. Soon she got chosen for a role in 'Tomcats', roles in TV shows such as 'Allie McBeal', 'ER', 'CSI' and 'The Fighting Fitzgerald's'. Her breakthrough role was as Lucy Diamond Dawson in the major motion picture 'I am Sam'. For her part as Lucy she had four major film awards most notably the Broadcast Film Critic Association Award. She also won the Golden Satellite Award, Las Vegas Film Critics Society Award and the Young Artist Award. Dakota then went to act in the movie 'Trapped' with Kevin Bacon. Her latest television work was the critically acclaimed Sci Fi mini series 'Taken', directed by Stephen Spielberg.

on a sunday morning. waiting for someone to go to church with me when i can really just go on my own.  providential, nothing happens by accident.  so slow as the day may seem, i'm savoring it. breathe, abbey. smile. now, smoke.  sit down and watch the families, lovers, friends pass by.  savor.

Author: Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while
you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn
with every good-bye you learn.

Today I will lovingly nurture the god or goddess in embryo that lies deep within my soul. I will pay attention to the spirit within me that animates both my body and my mind. I will awaken myself to this deep stillness within my heart. I will carry this consciousness of timeless, eternal Being in the midst of time-bound experience.

I will make a list of my unique talents. Then I will list all of the things I love to do while expressing my unique talents. When I express my unique talents and use them in the     service of humanity, I lose track of time and create abundance in my life as well as in the lives of others.

I will ask myself daily, "How can I serve?" and "How can I help?" The answers to these questions will allow me to help and serve my fellow human beings with love.